Defragmentation using Depth-First-Search
Fragmentation is a necessary byproduct in computer storage. And so it is, in the course of our lives. How do we defragment ourselves?
Hello World!
It has been 3 months since I penned my last newsletter. I feel rusted in my writing. But my mind is bubbling with excitement to share that which has been alive in my practice and my work - all this while.
What does it really take to shift our orientation to depth first in our yoga practice?
Have you defragmented your computer that’s gone dead-slow?
I’m pretty sure you have. Fragmentation is a necessary byproduct of having a computer storage and an operating system that’s reading from and writing to it.
It simply refers to fragmented data on a storage device - different parts of data are not stored in sequential memory blocks but are scattered wherever there is storage space available.
Fragmentation is necessary because this enables an operating system to write data quickly without having to re-arrange the data in sequential blocks. It also enables the OS to fail less and utilize the available space more efficiently.
Imagine, your CTRL+S operation failing while trying to save a 1 MB file on your hard disk having lot of free space - simply because there’s not enough sequential storage space available!
The downside however is that it accrues over time, causing read operations to get slower and slower, leading to degraded performance.
This necessitates the need for regular defragmentation - a regular re-organization of space. Most modern operating systems include inbuilt and automatic defragmentation.
All in all, we understand that the most efficient way to store a file is in a contiguous physical block.
Now let’s flip this inward.
During the course of our lives, our gross physical body, including all subtle layers of our mind is the storage space available to us. All reads are our outward oriented actions, performed using 5 karmendriyas - our organs of action. All writes are the continuous sensory inputs we receive through our 5 jnanendriyas - our sense organs.
And the OS that’s reading and writing to my space is me!
How would you define fragmentation in yourself?
It is easier for us to look at the visible symptoms of fragmentation at first, rather than the process itself.
Lack of focus, too many disarrayed thoughts, recurring loop of a certain thought, frequent memory loss - failing to recall what you set out to do, or where you kept your things are some of the most common symptoms of fragmentation in our minds.
Fatigue, loss of appetite, heaviness, poor sleep, deranged bowel movements, an imbalance in the working of one or more of the organ systems leading to ill-health, inertia are common symptoms of fragmentation in our bodies.
This fragmentation accrues over time, with age and is an inevitable and continuous byproduct of our being.
3 important questions arise here.
What is the cause of this fragmentation?
What keeps this process alive?
What is the process of defragmentation?
Getting to the cause requires us to dig deeper, and move into our subtler realities.
Fragmentation, according to the Yoga and Samkhya philosophies happens by preventing and blocking the natural flow of prANa, the way it is meant to flow.
Allow me to explain this further using the Samkhya philosophy of evolution in simple terms.
Samkhya explains 25 tattvas or realities that exist in all animate and inanimate beings. At the very source, in each of us, exists the puruSha (Observer, Consciousness, Pure Awareness) and prakRti (the source of all manifest world in its unmanifest form) which are beyond time, space , beyond the grasp of our thinking minds (immeasurable) and have no beginning and end.
According to Samkhya, the evolutionary process is happening moment to moment, in each one of us, with the coming together of puruSha (Perceiver) and prakRti (Perceived).
This union generates prANa, kAla (the notion of time) and avidyA.
The generation of prANa energizes the unmanifest, triggering manifestation from the subtle to gross.
The birth of avidyA brings with it the tendency to experience the two (perceiver and the perceived) as one. And this experience is the source of all duhkham (suffering). [Yoga Sutra 2.17]
Describing the nature of the perceived, Patanjali’s yogasutra 2.18 states that the reason for being of the perceived is bhogam or apavargam i.e. we have two choices at any given point in time - either to be consumed by what we see or to discriminate and move closer to reality.
Yoga Sutra 2.20 elaborates this concept further stating that the perceiver is pure but intends to see the perceived, and it does so by the process of perception.
The process of perception is an outward cascading movement of prANa all the way up from the source, to touch the object (seen), carry the impressions of this touch all the way back to the source and offer it for the perceiver to see.
Contrary to our assumption, the process of perception starts inward-out from the source and not the other way round.
However, the subtlety of my awareness decides my experience of the source/self.
Where I stand is what I see.
The more gross my awareness, the more fragmented I am from reality.
Picture courtesy: visualizevalue
Recall one of my earlier posts where I detailed out the mind-body-architecture.
When I experience and am conscious only of the sense-objects, the sensory pulls and pushes and the coordinating mind that generates a response for these pulls and pushes, my prANa is dispersed and dissipated. I am spread across all the objects that pull me or those that I want to see (due to my vAsanAs).
My constant engagement with the world from this location of awareness leads to more and more residues in me - which keeps the process of fragmentation alive.
The goal of Asana and prANAyAma is to gather this dissipated prANa and concentrate it within me thereby increasing my ability to become aware of the subtler layers of my being.
As I become capable of very subtle attention, my ability to discriminate increases manifold. I am able to reorganize and control where I would like my prANa to flow. I am able to hold myself more in apavargam ( discriminate and distance oneself from the experience) than in bhogam (get consumed by the experience) .
This is the process of Defragmentation and it is depth-first.
How do I achieve this practically through my Asana practice?
All the principles of Asana practice are meant for us to go deeper in our experience of the body using our breath.
If my yoga practice is not pervading all layers of my being - then it will still remain a peripheral practice and I shall drop it, like many other things that I pick up, try and drop.
The depth-first orientation to one’s yoga practice starts with a strong intent to deepen one’s awareness and requires sustained practice.
After all, the DFS algorithm is all about going as far down as you can until you reach your goal.
In my practice, can I witness my breath without any judgement, without any regulation and bring my mind back each time it gets caught up with a distraction?
During my practice, can I train myself to get to this space of being an observer, patiently, over a sustained period of time?
I recently read a quote by the renowned zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh that hit the nail right on the head.
Nonthinking is an art, and like any other art it requires patience and practice. Reclaiming your attention and bringing your mind and body back together for even just ten breaths can be very difficult at first. But with continued practice, you can reclaim your ability to be present and learn just to be.
Are you ready to defragment yourself?